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Moral Orel Week Begins!

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So, it's Monday, and like I said before, every day this week I'm going to post something about Moral Orel. We'll kick this thing off with a post about Jay Johnston, who has written, produced, directed and acted in the show. He does a bunch of characters, including Coach Stopframe (above).

Simply put, Jay is one of the funniest people I've ever met. He's certainly the funniest physical comedian I know. I wish I could describe some of the bits I've seen him do just in someone's living room (bits that make you laugh so hard that it really really hurts) but I can't do any of them justice. A while back I had the chance to see him in a staged reading of the holy grail of bad comedy, Jerry Lewis' The Day the Clown Cried. He played Helmut Doork, the Jerry Lewis role. All I can say is, if you ever hear that they're restaging it, do ANYTHING you can to go see it. I know, it's a staged reading, but Jay is up and about for pretty much the entire thing, and he is amazing.

Here is a link to my favorite Mr. Show sketch, which happens to feature Jay (I think he wrote it too):

The Story of Everest

My favorite thing about this sketch is that you're watching it and you're laughing your ass off, and then after a little while, you think it must be over, but then it just keeps going for like another four minutes, and it doesn't stop being funny. I honestly don't know of another comedian that could have pulled this sketch off.

REMEMBER!: We'll be having our super-incredible online chat with Dino Stamatopoulos, creator of Moral Orel, on Thursday the 12th at 8PM ET!

July 09, 2007 in America's Best, Moral Orel Week | Permalink | Comments (1)

Save The Date(s)!!!

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As all of you know, next week is Moral Orel Week here at Bell Business. That's right, every day, starting Monday, a new post that has something to do with Moral Orel. It might even include some sort of coordinated chat with Dino Stamatopoulos, but I need to look into that. I'm worried it might require some sort of effort on my part, which could be a deal breaker. If it looks like it's going to be too much of a thing I'll just post his cell number and everyone can just call him direct.


UPDATE: The chat with Dino will take place on Thursday, July 12 at 8PM ET.
This is the night before Pt II of his big Moral Orel cliffhanger episode gets posted online. Very exciting! Did anyone see Pt I? It doesn't matter. You can ask him about Pt II of any episode from any show that ever aired. I don't know if you're aware of this, but Dino has a HUGE library full of nothing but Pt II's from various shows.
I think the only one he doesn't have is the second half of the Brady Bunch Hawaiian special. So if any of you know what happens in that one, no spoilers please. 

July 06, 2007 in America's Best | Permalink | Comments (6)

More Awesome Jams

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In this case, the awesome jams are RAM JAMS! I was reminded of this kick ass tune by Dante Fontana. I used to have the 45. In fact, I remember buying it off of the spinning metal rack at the drug store when I was about twelve or something. I love everything about this video. It's perfect in so many ways. Just a bunch of guys in a backyard somewhere in the suburbs. There's a motorcycle parked there that probably belongs to one of them, or maybe one of their friends. It seems to me that they're clearly playing the song, which is impressive, cuz they synched it up pretty good with the record. If I had to guess, I'd say that they shot this at the house of someone in the band, plugging their amps in with miles of extension cords, and they probably had to actually play it a bunch of times, either to the delight or chagrin of their neighbors. This is 1977. There was no MTV. So making this video was clearly a stroke of genius, done only for the benefit of future generations.  Anyway, no matter how you slice it, THIS IS ROCK.

July 02, 2007 in America's Best | Permalink | Comments (3)

Moral Orel

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Dino says I can get new visitors to this blog if I mention that he used one of my songs on an episode of Moral Orel. I don't think it will encourage anybody but him to visit, but here goes. A while back, Dino used a song I wrote and recorded called Head and Heart in one of his episodes. He sent me a copy, I watched it, enjoyed it, and then promptly forgot about it. I think it had to do with a priest. And masturbation.

When he asked me if he could use the song, I, of course said "Sure!" but I also urged him to get someone else to record it. (My good friend Jonny Polonsky immediately came to mind)

I wrote the song (about a stupidly painful break-up) and recorded it myself on a four-track in our apartment in LA. I guess that was over a decade ago now.

I've since seen fans of his show ask about it, which is really flattering. But for those who would like a copy, I just don't know how to help you. Since Dino used it on his show he sent me a digital copy, but frankly I'm loathe to listen to it because it brings back bad memories, and I wouldn't know where to start so far as posting it in some way. I'm sure it's easy to do, I'm just VERY LAZY. My. Hands. Are. Tied.

To any of you who would like a copy, I would urge you to demand that Dino have someone very talented re-record the song (like, say Jonny Polonsky) and have him post it on his  Myspace page, or whatever.

I would also say that nobody has REALLY heard the song. Dino only used one or two lines from it. Although the awesome Mark Rivers expanded on the theme musically throughout the episode. (warning! if you click on the rivers link he's got some song that plays really loud, and it's really confusing to figure out how to stop it! I just restarted the computer, which opened up a big can of worms) Anyway, my point is, you probably WON'T LIKE IT! It's whiny and annoying, and it will remind you of an extremely painful period in my life. That's not fun!

Look, let's think about the future. Maybe we should try and write a song about how cool my daughter is! Like how she tries to grab the pens out of my pocket and calls them "Daddy's pens!" although she KNOWS that she is FORBIDDEN TO TOUCH THEM! And then I punish her and we move on! That would be a good song, right?

Here we go. I'll start...

Put that down
Put that DOWN!!!
NOW!!!!!!
I"M NOT KIDDING!!!!!!!
Mommy doesn't come home for FIVE more hours...
OK, I'm throwing away dinner...

Now you guys come up with the next line! Later on we'll put it to music. Maybe we can get the enormously talented Jonny Polonsky to record it!




June 29, 2007 in America's Best | Permalink | Comments (5)

Greenwald Gold

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This has to be one of the best articles I've read by Glenn Greenwald, who is one of the finest political writers on the web today. It's unusually snarky for Glenn, but so on the mark it's stunning. I wonder if Richard Cohen will get around to reading it. When I first read Cohen's column I was going to leave a comment myself, but balked at creating yet another account at another website. Then I read Greenwald, and I'm pretty confident that a person could not have crafter a more apt response.

It should be noted that Cohen is what the Washington Post calls a "liberal." This is, on its face, ridiculous, but there you have it. In his current column he calls for a Scooter Libby pardon.

With the sentencing of I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, Fitzgerald has apparently finished his work, which was, not to put too fine a point on it, to make a mountain out of a molehill. At the urging of the liberal press (especially the New York Times), he was appointed to look into a run-of-the-mill leak and wound up prosecuting not the leaker -- Richard Armitage of the State Department -- but Libby, convicted in the end of lying. This is not an entirely trivial matter since government officials should not lie to grand juries, but neither should they be called to account for practicing the dark art of politics. As with sex or real estate, it is often best to keep the lights off.

This was the paragraph that set me off. And it's the one that got Greenwald going as well.

The Libby prosecution clearly was the dirty work of the leftist anti-war movement in this country, just as Cohen describes. After all, the reason Patrick Fitzgerald was appointed to investigate this matter was because a left-wing government agency (known as the "Central Intelligence Agency") filed a criminal referral with the Justice Department, as the MoveOn-sympathizer CIA officials were apparently unhappy about the public unmasking of one of their covert agents.
In response, Bush's left-wing anti-war Attorney General, John Ashcroft, judged the matter serious enough to recuse himself, leading Bush's left-wing anti-war Deputy Attorney General, James Comey, to conclude that a Special Prosecutor was needed. In turn, Comey appointed Fitzgerald, the left-wing anti-war Republican Prosecutor and Bush appointee, who secured a conviction of Libby, in response to which left-wing anti-war Bush appointee Judge Reggie Walton imposed Libby's sentence.

But the phrase that really got to me (and Greenwald as well) was this one: "(Politics) As with sex or real estate, it is often best to keep the lights off."

What do you think about that? Is government to you just a sausage factory you'd rather not see in action? (Or real estate? Or sex, for that matter?)

Greenwald knocks this one out of the park. I have seen this linked to on several sites, but as of yet I have not seen any mention that it is truly one his best yet. I've been reading him for a while. It is. This is Greenwald gold.

(Note: You may have to watch a short ad at Salon to read this business. It's worth it.)

One More Thing: I'll just say this, if Scooter Libby did nothing wrong then why did he lie? And yes, he DID lie, according to the (pretty sympathetic) jury. And one more thing, to those who say that his only crime was lying about a crime he wasn't guilty of (ala Martha Stewart), his lying directly obstructed an investigation into the outing of a CIA operative who's principle job was working on weapons of mass destruction proliferation in the Middle East. Anyone who says she wasn't a covert operative should please call the CIA, who will tell you otherwise. And anyone who doesn't think it's a big deal to obstruct an investigation into the leaking of this agent's identity doesn't give a shit about national security.

And George Bush had NO intention of getting to the bottom of this EVER. He lied about that. And he lied about holding whoever was responsible accountable. Even those of you who now support a Libby pardon, he lied to you too. Did you know he was lying? When he promised accountability again and again (in vaguer and vaguer terms) did you catch a secret wink that none of the rest of us saw?  Did you wink back? 

June 19, 2007 in America's Best | Permalink | Comments (0)

Nice

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(Hi Dino) As all of you know, I love Iggy Pop. Here's a cool picture of Iggy Pop.

I'm sure I don't have to tell you to click the picture for a bigger version.

Also, thanks WFMU blog for the link.

June 18, 2007 in America's Best | Permalink | Comments (0)

Welcome Back, Gooliebuns!

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Here's some good news.
She's back, after a very lengthy absence. Please enjoy hot, delicious Gooliebuns.

June 05, 2007 in America's Best | Permalink | Comments (0)

Yay, Tony Curtis!

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It seems that every post these days is either America's Best or America's Worst. This one is BEST!

Here's Tony Curtis, acting his heart out, acting so hard that he injures a fellow actor. (courtesy of Classic Television Showbiz via WFMU )


June 05, 2007 in America's Best | Permalink | Comments (0)

Gilliard

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I don't even know what to say. He was pretty much my favorite blogger. I didn't always agree with him, but I always loved reading his stuff. Such a smart guy. I am incredibly sad. This is a huge loss. My heart goes out to his family, and Jen, and everyone that actually knew him and loved him. I am just heartbroken. I can't imagine what they're feeling.

Anyway, the America's Best catagory was never so appropriate.

June 02, 2007 in America's Best | Permalink | Comments (0)

Devin's on O

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He's 5' 11", and really good at returning kicks. Not sure if I like him as a WR. Like him better as a cornerback, although he's short for that too. He's perfect for returning kicks. I don't know how much I like this.

May 15, 2007 in America's Best | Permalink | Comments (0)

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